“I Failed.”
Two words that I thought were going to be tough to write, but something I wanted to acknowledge.
I failed. But I’m not a failure. And that’s why I wanted to write this post - because failing something doesn’t make me (or you) a failure, and there’s an important distinction there.
I began this year with grand plans and high expectations of what 2020 would have in store, but the world and life had other plans. Plans which initially caused minor “confusion and delay” (with the voice of The Fat Controller in my head), but later completely derailed any thought of being in control of what was happening.
I had a number of goals and plans for this year, challenging projects at work, finishing my doctoral thesis, and maintaining a regular post to this page. I failed to achieve many of these goals, but on reflection achieved a lot that wasn’t even on my radar at the start of the year.
As I sit here at the end of another year I’ve taken some time to take stock of where I am and what got me here, and I found my /word for the year - Zen Archer has played a steady role throughout.
As the 2020 began spiralling out of control, I found myself embodying the Zen Archer. At first, this was something I didn’t know was happening, but increasingly as I felt myself operating with a low bandwidth, or pivoting to rapid changes in the work environment, I found myself mindful of the need to lean into my /word, and the principles and practices that I set out for myself in January.
Did I execute these principles and practice perfectly (alteration intended)? No, but here’s some of my reflections with hindsight.
My Principles
As mentioned above, my attention and focus took an initial hit, as I felt overwhelmed with trying to be across every Press Conference, the constant news feed and politicisation of the issue from our local and global leaders.I struggled with having clarity of mind, and allowing myself to ‘be on’ from waking til climbing back into bed. Working from home saw me lose my Third Space between work and home (and fall behind on many of my favourite podcasts along the way). Resetting and re-calibrating my expectations in many of these spaces, assisted in regaining attention and focus on what was within my circles of control and influence. From an intentionality and purpose perspective, I felt this principle really resonated with me. Knowing I only had a finite number of arrows meant I could only achieve what really needed to be done at the time, and by hitting these with purpose, meant I could stress less about the minor targets that I didn’t have to achieve as well.
My Practices
In reality, it was my practices which helped me get through 2020. Dedicated chunks of Focused Time allowed me to spend intentional time on key deliverables each day and each week I felt I was in an constant state of OODA Loop - observing, orienting, deciding and acting on new information, changes in priorities and ensuring the right things were getting done given the change of situation I found myself in. My weekly After Action Reviews were valuable in getting on paper the gap between my week as imagined and the week that was, and what I needed to improve or change to get a better result the following week. All of this was underpinned by a sometimes healthy mindfulness practice, and I felt let down during when I lacked presence and clarity - something that I will continue to work on.
We’re not in the same boat - and we never were
This has been my experience over 2020, and I want to squash the old platitude: “We’re all in the same boat.”
Rather, I consider that we’ve all been in the same storm, but we’re all in different vessels, at different points and time in the storm. Some more privileged may be in luxury liners, others are in 14 footers, and others in leaky dinghies (maybe a few have been Rose and Jack clinging to a plank of wood)!
Some were able to quickly escape the storm (possibly on their luxury liners up the coast to Queensland), others drawn deeper and deeper into the eye of the storm, some tacking in and out of the fringes of the storm.
Your dealing with the storm that has been 2020, be it a fire storm of the earlier bushfire or the impacts of COVID-19 (or both), these crises don’t have to be the end of the story.
Project Semicolon
Project Semicolon is a movement dedicated to presenting hope and love to those who are struggling with depression, suicide, addiction, and self-injury.
Why a semicolon?
A semicolon is used when an author could've chosen to end their sentence, but chose not to. The author is you and the sentence is your life.
Whatever your experience over this year, I would encourage you to consider the semicolon ; as a conversation starter, and a message of hope that there is more to your story than what has occurred this year, and equally what will continue to unfold over the coming months.
You (we) are not alone, and there is support out there. To listen, encourage and connect with specialist providers.
If you or someone you know needs help, please reach out to Lifeline.
If you were hoping for some grammatical help on how best to use a semicolon (the most feared punctuation on earth), check out this infographic from The Oatmeal.
End of Year Reflecting and the Ritual of Becoming
With a couple of weeks leave from work over the Christmas and New Year period, I’m re-entering my annual end of year reflection and revisiting the Ritual of Becoming - diligently working through Dr Jason Fox's Character Handbook as I reflection on the 2020 year of the Zen Archer, and what will become the Word for 2021.
I sense some unfinished business for this Zen Archer, some stones that have been left unturned.
I am entering this process with no preconceived ideas or wedding myself to a word or phrase. This is the joy of revisiting the Ritual of Becoming with a beginners mindset.
I would encourage you to spend some time over a coffee (or three) to journal your own End of Year Reflection. I’ve created this simple template as a guide if this can be of assistance. This is just one of many templates or ways of approaching and an annual reflection. It it works for you, great! If you have a tool that works better for you, that’s awesome too.
If you’re keen to explore your own /word for the year, and work through the Ritual of Becoming, head on over to the Choose One Word ‘Ritual of Becoming’ program and sign up today. Share your Word with me and we can journey through 2021 together.